Friday, January 22, 2016

Adventures in Driving,Mr K and crazy old women - FOTW

Hey Hey Hey! It's time for FLY ON THE WALL where you get to have a little peek into the lives of 12 bloggers, sharing our funny moments, crazy photos and little tid bits of life that no one else gets to see.
Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:                         Baking In A Tornado                            Juicebox Confession                          Menopausal Mother                            Someone Else’s Genius                  Spatulas on Parade                      Searching for Sanity                         Never Ever Give Up Hope                                    Go Mama O                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy          Not That Sarah Michelle                   Southern Belle Charm                                     My Brain on Kids

Driving the mid-day loop I met my Uncle Rob's home health care aid and then a first cousin I haven't seen since I was little. WOW you just never know do you? I thought I'd tell my mom, so I "Tried" to send her a voice text. Glad I looked before sending it. LOL As you see, I needed to correct the auto-correct.

Christmas came and my honey spoiled me...I am at a loss for words except Thank you Lord for blessing me with this man!! A beautiful blanket for the bed, a Keurig with a case of chocolate almond hot cocoa, his and her mugs, extra large electric griddle, a steam mop, Bissell total floor vacuum, cashmere tree, lights and decorations, pedicure set, slippers, 2 sets of pj's, selfie stick, spice rack and love...lots of love. I'm spoiled!

On the road back from MD (I drove up to drop off T) and this trucker was so close on my rear , I was on the phone with my sissy and I said " I swear if this guy was any closer I could read the size tag in his underwear" she was cracking up.

Dropping T off and his sister says "so when are you due" and pokes him in the stomach. He replies, "hey your hair has grown but you still look like a lesbian" She, without missing a beat says "So do you". They hug...strange relationship these two have.

Walking through the office and someone says something about a baby. I said, who's having a baby? TJ looks at me and says "MISS DAWN!" I said "the hell you say, the devil is a liar I am NOT having a baby!" she laughs and says "you so crazy, no, I am" I said "yes you're crazy but who's having the baby?" She says "I AM" oh...I seriously didn't know. That explains the constant eating this girl does.

December 23rd I'm at the laundry mat. I am loading the washer and this little wire haired lady walks out. I moved a bit so she would have plenty of room to walk by...she PATS MY BUTT !! I jumped, looked at her and she smiled. "have a Merry Christmas!" and walks out. I was shocked and a little freaked out. To be honest I had been worried about the 2 old Mexican men that kept leering at me. SMH
Upon leaving I'm driving past the little mom and pop grocery. It is unseasonably warm and I have the windows down. Speed is 20 mph and I'm coming to the ONLY red light in town. There is Santa standing out front getting a newspaper from the machine. I see this lady walking down the side walk. She looks mad. But as she passes him, she HITS HIS BUTT and says "Hey fat ass move it" he jumps and says "HO HO HO WHOA" she just keeps walking.
WTH is wrong with these old women? The hot weather in December? The full moon coming up?? Two butt slappin' old women in one day I decided to go home and stay!

January 8, 2016 my last day to run the dialysis route. I was a little sad because I've grown so attached to these folks but glad at the same time because it is hours of back breaking work. You just don't know. Anyway, you remember Mr K aka Mr Chocolate as he wishes to be called but I still refuse, so he has one leg due to a car accident several years ago. Normally I pull up and he is sitting outside waiting on me in his chair. Not this day. he is sitting on a bench with 2 legs!! I said "HEY where's your chair?!" He said, "I got my new leg but they pulled too much fluid off and now it's not fitting right, it's slipping making it hard to walk. You gonna need to help me" I said okay. That concerned me and I should have seen it coming but I didn't. He was so serious. I walked over, he put his arm around me, then grinned like the Cheshire Cat!! He said "Yeah baby I knew you couldn't keep your hands off me forever!" OMG I'm laughing like crazy! I said "you crazy old man behave" he said "Oh honey I behave but it's you I'm worried about"
I will miss this man! He has such a great sense of humor about life, light spirit and he encourages all the other dialysis patients. Guess I'll have to make trips over there just to say HEY.

Driving the group home I hear part of a conversation. Mr K is telling Ms E about a CNA that came to his house. I hear... "I told her put yo' clothes back on, but not until I had had me a good look" ROTFL I said MR K what?! He said "you drive you ain't 'pose to be listenin" and he laughs. OMG this man!

I get him to his apartment and had to help him in. Normally he is in a wheelchair but this day he was sporting his new prosthetic leg. I am helping him to his door and he staggers almost falling. I grabbed his arm and he put one arm around my shoulders. So I grab his belt loop from behind (this is how we are taught to hold them up) and he looks at me and smiles... I knew it was coming. "See you big flirt you just wanted to get your hands on me"
I'm cracking up! I said "Mr K just walk and stop that mess" still laughing.
When we get to the steps I said "grab the rail and I'll steady you from behind" I SHOULD have known better! He looks at me and says "don't be grabbin my ass back there!" OMG he is a hoot!

First day (1/11/16)driving my new permanent route and one of my passengers is a high functioning autistic man. He is 33 but more like 13. He is a real sweet guy and talkative..oh my, nonstop. He loves sports and NASCAR. Every car that goes by, he is like "that's a Honda Civic, that's a Toyota Prius" and so on. An old truck pulls out near us at a stop light and he says "WOW that's an old truck" 
I said, "yeah an old Chevrolet about a 1955 or 56" 
He says "WOW you're smart!"
I laughed and said well I grew up in my Daddy's garage working.
He says "wow"
Yep I impressed him. LOL
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  1. You had me at "Two butt slappin' old women in one day". Oh, the life you lead!

    1. LOL I knew you'd enjoy that! When it happened I was like OMG I AVE to tell Karen!

  2. Well now I know to keep my behind away from little old ladies. It's always the quiet ones you gotta watch. Hope your new route is still going well. :D

  3. 2 Old women butt slapping in one day? Priceless~

    1. I'm telling ya, this stuff is just too good! You can't make up material this crazy.

  4. What fun opening all those Christmas gifts -- and what is it with those butt-slappin' old ladies. Too weird

    1. I was glad I didn't stop at the grocery, I probably would have been butt slapped twice that day!

  5. And I was worried about dirty old men (like Mr K)! Guess I'll have to be on the look out for the little old ladies too.

    1. Don't bend over at the laundry mat and you should be okay. LOL
      Drove Mr K today to the dr... of course he called me a big flirt and told me not to grab his butt. LOL

  6. Oh the things you hear & people you meet! Too funny! Love it!

    1. You should have been with me today! OMGosh