Friday, March 6, 2015

Henrietta and the Secret Subject Swap

If you're new here, welcome and if you're a return reader, YAY! Friday's are always some sort of group post. I am blessed enough to be part of a fabulous group of bloggers, we post each Friday some sort of "fun" post. 

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

 Your “Secret Subject” is:
You are at the groceries store. Pick an aisle. Now choose an item, put it in the cart. Now imagine, *it" starts talking to you and asking questions. You have to respond because it won't shut up and will only speak louder. Now tell us all about your shopping experience. Oh, and don't forget to introduce "it" to the cashier!
It was submitted by:    

Recently I was in the kitchen cooking and realized I was almost out of eggs. I didn't have enough to finish my recipe. I stopped what I was doing and grabbed my purse and keys. Off to the store I went lickety split to grab some eggs.
I don't know about you but I can't go into the store and buy just one item. I thought while I'm here I might as well grab a few things I know we will need before the week is up.
I parked my car and went into the store. Grabbing a shopping cart I saw the advertisement paper. Scanning it quickly I noticed several other items I needed. Off I went to get the items and head home so I could finish the recipe I had started earlier.
First I headed to the produce department where I picked up a cauliflower, asparagus and carrots. Then to the meat department where the boneless skinless chicken breast were on sale, I can always use those. Next was the dairy department for some more almond milk and sharp cheddar cheese, oh yes and what I came for...eggs.

 Wow, this was unusual, a lovely dozen eggs. Maybe because it was almost Easter they had decided to carry local organic 'nature' colored eggs. I shrugged grabbed them and off I went.
As I rounded the end of the store I heard a tiny voice "let me out". I stopped, looked around and thought man I'm loosing it. So starting again, there it was, that little voice "let me out". Looking down in the cart I noticed the egg carton was shaking. Standing there a little confused and worried that I really had lost it. Slowly I picked up the carton.
Upon consideration I opened it. One of the eggs was shaking and POP! It cracked open!

POP out came a tiny little chick. She said "the funnnn has arrived"! In a sing songy voice. Shocked I held the carton and looked at the tiny little thing. She said "HI I'm Henrietta" What the frack?! Did this little chick just talk to me?
As if she could read my mind, she said "yes I'm talking to you Red". WHAT? She giggled and said come one we gotta get home and finish that recipe.
Okay, I must be dreaming. I shook my head. Nope that just made my head spin. I blinked several time and she copied me. I pinched my arm, OUCH, dang it. I'm awake. Okay this is weird and how am I going to explain to the cashier that I have a dozen eggs minus one and a chick.
As we start walking Henrietta said "HEY, you gotta introduce me to everyone". I said "you want me to do what?"
She giggled and said "oh come on Red, head to the front and let's say HI to the folks."
Walking to the front we'd stop and say HI to people and keep going. 
Once we got the counter that little scamp jumped up on the conveyor belt, grabbed the mic and said HI SHOPPERS I'M HENRIETTA and I'm at register 7 with Red, stop by and say HI before I leave the store.
Good grief! My face was as red as my hair and people were starting to gather around. Oh well, not one to be put off my attention, I took a deep breath and addressed the crowd. Telling them about my morning, how I came to the store for a few items, picked up the eggs and wound up with this chick.
Finally the groceries were bagged and we were headed to the car. Henrietta rode in my purse on the way home and she chatted up a storm, lawd will this chick EVER shut up?
Once we arrived home my son came out to help me with the bags. I handed him my purse and walked into the house, WHERE was that bottle? I know I have a little bottle of vodka (used for cooking of course, wink wink) and I started opening cabinets. ah yes, there it was. I opened it and took a swig, to heck with mixing it, I needed a shot.
My son comes in and looks at me, I said "I know, I know" he shook his head and walked to his room. There was Henrietta on the counter with bags, chatting away still. Oh my head...PLEASE stop talking!
She said, let's finish the recipe and then you can show me around the house.
I spied movement down the hall...uh oh. I totally forgot about that...yeah. I have 3, can you say THREE cats! Oh gosh...Beau my big boy spotted Henrietta and the chase was on, around and around the table, down the hall, meowing, chatting, screaming, fur and feathers flying! HELP
I sat up in bed, dear Lord what DID I eat last night to give me such crazy dreams?! off to bake. I walk into the kitchen and oh NO! I'm out of eggs. NO WAY I'm headed to the store today. Time to have a drink and prop up my feet. I think I'll rest today and MAYBE tomorrow I'll bake. LOL
Thanks Tamara for this prompt, I hope you enjoyed my crazy story!

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:                          Baking In A Tornado                        Stacy Sews and Schools                      The Bergham’s Life Chronicles                          Spatulas on Parade                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                                          The Momisodes                      Climaxed                       Someone Else’s Genius               Confessions of a part-time working mom                                            The Lieber Family                            Southern Belle Charm                           Searching for Sanity                                  Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                                Small Talk Mama
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